Secret or Not

three confessions

  1. coffee confessionSome say I am addicted to coffee and that I drink too much of it. I say rubbish. There are worse things to be addicted to, like drugs or pornography. My obsession with coffee does not currently affect my life in a negative way. I will keep enjoying my daily intake probably until it kills me.
  2. hpI love Harry Potter and always will. It often comes up in my day to day conversations.
  3. I keep my deep, dark secrets to myself. My two confessions might be common knowledge to those that know me and they are two things about me that will never change.
what will you confess?
Secret or Not

Three Things

Unsaid

Dad

  1. I hope that one day soon I will forgive you and move on from the negative feelings I have when I think of you.
  2. With that being said, I’m sorry we will never have the chance to repair our relationship.
  3. I do love you and hope that you found peace.

Mom

  1. This weekend is a time to celebrate you, I hope you know how much you mean to me.
  2. You are my role model, my counselor, and my friend. I love you.
  3. That one time when you knew it was me but I denied it, it was me. I’m sorry for lying.

Busy

  1. I am jealous of your drive, ambition, and attitude.
  2. I want to grow up and be like you.
  3. I hope we never outgrow our friendship.

Readers

  1. Thank you to the moon and back.
  2. You compel me to update often and keep to my goals.
  3. I am grateful for every one of my followers.

What things do you have left unsaid?
Three Things

Needs and Wants

Three Things You Need

If I were to talk about what I need right now, currently I would list off things like chocolate, tiramisu, or cheesecake. I have a terrible sweet tooth especially after meals I like to leave my palate with something sweet. But if I put some thought into the question there is not anything that I need right now. Things I want, of course, are easy to list but things I need are harder to identify. One need that just popped up was a local friend. I spend a lot of time working part time or working at home. I do not really have any friends in this area and have not made the effort to go make any, but it would be nice to blow off steam with someone when I have free time.

For a person like me it is hard to put myself out there when trying to make new friends. It does not feel natural to talk to people I do not know or to talk about myself. When thinking back on the friendships I have made I cannot pinpoint the actions or details of how they were forged. My friendships seem to have just happened, as if by magic.

I have been told to join a club, for example, to meet people with similar interests and build friendships there. This is good advice if you commit to it, repetition is key. We no longer live in the time that just asking someone if they want to be your friend will suffice. Elementary school was so easy. Now if you want a friend you have to sell yourself (talking up your good qualities), become interested in others and work to maintain the links you have made.

I think I would rather just get a fish.

Other things I “need” would be new books. It has been ages since I went to the bookstore. I used to go once or twice a week, now it is just once a month if I am lucky. The best part about going to the bookstore is how calming it is to just peruse the shelves for your next grand adventure. Books are the best.

The last thing I will mention on my needs list is an espresso machine. I would save so much money by making my lattes at home. I love the ambiance a coffee shop gives off and the coffee tastes so much better when you do not make it yourself (weird, I know). An espresso machine at home would be lacking the environment I pay extra for but it would be so much more convenient.

A girl can dream.

Needs and Wants

Seeking Creativity

tiny_tot_by_teafunny-d6gi29rI wish I had more creative moments. I cannot remember the last time I went on a “walkabout”. My walkabouts involve a whole day exploring a new place and taking photographs along the way.

I used to go on photography adventures when I lived in Missouri. Now I feel I have more to photograph that I have not seen (new places) but I do not have the motivation to get out there and take advantage of being in this new location. Once spring hits Maryland, I have to get out more and photograph my environment. I know I won’t be here much longer so I need to get my s*** together before I miss it.

Whispered_by_teafunny

Some of my best memories were during a random photo excursion. My excursions usually start at the coffee shop where I get fueled up before setting off on my adventure. Yesterday was the perfect day to take advantage of the nice weather and get some shots in but I did not. I did manage a coffee out though.

One of my last photography adventures took place on my birthday. I spent the day with my sister. We went to the art museum and then the zoo. I managed to be in the right place at the right time and captured the moment below. I thought it fitting to include it in this post since Valentine’s Day is this weekend. One of my goals in photography that I have been working on is finding naturally occurring shapes and letters to capture. My “heart” below is one of my favorite shapes I have collected, plus flamingos are in my top favorite animals list.

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Click the DA logo to check out the rest of my gallery.
Seeking Creativity

Insomnia

Sleep

Tension, stress and anxiety will disrupt your night’s sleep. I have been dealing with mild insomnia the last few months, always during the winter. Below is a list of suggestions that have worked for me and may or may not work in your case. I am not a doctor or licensed professional, follow advice/tips at your own risk.

Ways to Get More Sleep
  • Music
    • I would listen to music every night if I could remember to turn it on. Music designated for sleep is ideal, soft and mellow tunes, but I really enjoy the sound of rain or a sleep playlist with my favorite easy listening artists.
  • A warm bath
  • Herbal tea or warm milk
  • Limit caffeine after dinner
  • Avoid television before bed
    • Your bed and sleeping should not be associated with other things. Television is a distraction and keeps your senses alert.
  • Reading
    • I always read before going to bed, it helps me not to think about the day and to get lost in another world. The problem sometimes is not being able to stop reading.

Last night was an early night for me. I try to go to bed at the same time to develop a routine and so that my mind can get used to the “powering down” phase of the night. But I usually cannot fall asleep until one or two in the morning. I need to revisit these tips and try some others to get my sleep schedule back on the right track.

What sleep aids (not a sleeping pill) do you practice to get a good night’s sleep?

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Insomnia

Television and whatnot

The Largest TV

I am tell you, weird writing prompts.

In my house (I live with my sister) I own zero television sets. There are 4 TVs in the house with the largest at 60″. The big TV is great but watching movies on the other sets has been spoiled by the specs of the big TV. I am not into all the bells and whistles of electronics, as long as it does it’s job it is good enough for me, but my brother-in-law has an affinity to the Samsung brand. Practically every electronic is the house is a Samsung. The large TV is impressive but I watch Netflix on my Kindle, so I really am not the person to ask about this.

So new topic.

Truth or Hope

Tonight I was watching one of my favorite programs from across the pond and one of the characters said the line, “better to deal with the harsh truth than a false hope.” And it struck me as an interesting idea, does the population fall into only one of either category or is there a gray area where truth and hope can coexist.

Would you rather (love WYR questions) always hear the truth or hang on to the idea of “what if’s” or “maybe’s”?

I am not really sure which I would choose. I think it depends on the situation. Of course, I always think I would choose truth but sometimes it is not necessary to be hurtful. I am a firm believer in the adage, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. But of course, it comes down to the situation.

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”
Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”
Tom Bodett

Television and whatnot

Me, Myself, and I

Name a person you wish you did not have to deal with today.

Myself.

I would like to take a break from my mental monologues. I am always in my head analyzing something or planning conversations which rarely even happen. No matter how much I tell the inner chatter to shut up it continues to pull me in. I would like to spend more time living life than living inside my head.

We all have the voice inside our head and we control it. My inner voice usually does not bother me enough to notice but lately that is not the case. I think winter has a bit to do with it (cabin fever, etc) but maybe it has to do with the mood I have been in the last few months.

How to Get Out of my Head
  • Try new things
    • Especially something out of my comfort level.
  • Volunteer my time
    • Giving back will improve my mood.
  • Plan the day out
    • My list making can come in handy on this tip.

I am also going to try dancing, listening to music, reading, yoga, drawing, try out new recipes, and watching movies on my movie list.

How do you stay busy and/or fight boredom? Does the voice in your head distract you?
Me, Myself, and I

Do Over

I missed yesterday’s topic about health. I am glad I skipped it because I could not imagine writing about my health and rating it on a 1-10 scale. My rating system and yours are completely different, so if I rated my health at a 7, what would that even mean? Is 1 a high or low score, meaning good health or bad?

Today’s prompt asks: “If you could do today over, would you change anything?”

I probably would want to redo my evening. Tonight I am babysitting my niece and we had a rough few hours right after dinner and before bedtime. She is only 5 months old so she flips out when she can’t communicate her needs, and an even bigger mess is when her needs are not met in what she considers a timely manner.

I would relive my evening because I stressed out with her and she could tell my patience was wearing thin. I contacted my sister and worried her when I should have taken a few deep breaths and tried a new strategy with the baby. She is teething, so life is rough for her right now.

I have never had a maternal instinct, and never had the urge to take care of others. I like to help out but I do better with independence and seek out strong, independent individuals for friends. I am also an introvert so I do not understand people when they would rather not be alone. Everyone needs alone time, and clingy people are strange to me (even babies).

I love her to death and I was never mad or angry, my night was full of crying and it is the most difficult situation to be in while trying to think straight. She finally calmed down and fell asleep mid-bottle. I had time to eat a quick meal (part of my issues were hanger (hunger/anger) related) and unwind over a movie.

I would also make today a do over so that I could get some reading in. I haven’t read in a few days and I am starting to feel like I am neglecting something that would brighten my mood. It’s important to complete a few activities during the day that are selfish. It helps with my mood, helps to recharge the batteries, and “me time” keeps me invested in myself.

This blog is starting to become my “therapy” session. It helps clear out my head and get all my many thoughts out of my mind. Welcome to all my new followers, and thanks to those readers that are still sticking around.

Do Over

Color Me Happy

My favorite color is GREEN!

I cannot recall the time in which this color took precedence over any other color. Green has been my favorite color for over a decade. When I think of green I usually imagine something relating to nature. This also gets me thinking about Spring (my second favorite time of year). During Spring new life starts to grow again, plants renew after winter is over, and there is a fresh beginning for the season. Most greens are passive colors (unlike red) and make me feel calm. I have always found green an agreeable color, but is sometimes connected to jealousy or envy. The color green is everywhere: from money to flags, in politics and religion, the environment and even sports.

Here are some interesting things I found out about my favorite color.

Green is associated with loyalty, directness, and kindness. Identifying with green means you are intuitive and respect the value of a good reputation.

Green is connected with nature and balance (since green is made from mixing yellow and blue). Green includes yellow’s optimism and blue’s calm which makes green a safe color.

Green is linked to money, life, growth, tranquility, envy, health, greed, and harmony (to name a few).

Does your favorite color change or has it been the same thing for awhile?
Color meaning found at various places: here, here, and here.
Color Me Happy

Apologies

What is the last thing you apologized for?

It wasn’t a formal apology or even saying the words “I’m sorry” or apology but the last thing I apologized for were my reactions to a conversation. I didn’t say a thing which was not cool.

Busy and I have been close for a decade or more. She’s off abroad right now and we rely on email, chat, and the occasional video call to keep in touch. We recently had a conversation about her job and the possibility of me joining her abroad but things didn’t work out the way either of us imagined. Needless to say, words were exchanged and were interpreted differently on either end of the conversation. I was left feeling hurt and speechless but also in a defensive mood. We gave each other the silent treatment for a month+ and just recently started to sort things out again by opening the communication lines.

I tend to “shut off” when confrontation is afoot. I like my world balanced and the feelings I had did not mesh with the situation. I also didn’t try to express myself and open up to someone I consider a sister. Basically I didn’t communicate, one of my weaknesses. I have known this about myself for a long time, but I continually struggle to overcome this.

Things are still a bit off but I am going to try my hardest to rectify the situation and get things moving into the light again. I really suck at staying in touch with people and need to be a better friend to Busy.

Do you say “I’m sorry” or “I apologize”? Does it make a difference which one you use more?
Apologies