Childhood Dreams

I never wanted to be an astronaut or police officer when I was younger. I always knew what I become since I was five years old–a teacher.

Three months after my fifth birthday my little sister arrived on the scene. In the very beginning I was jealous of all the attention she was getting and I even got a present the day she was born to pacify me. It was only later, months probably, that I truly came to the realization of having a younger sister. She was my very own doll come to life. I could play with her and teach her everything I knew. Even at a young age I loved learning, it was an equal love to teach my sister the things I learned each day when I got home from school. I wanted to share everything with her (this feeling didn’t last long, sorry Mom). One of my proudest accomplishments to date was “educating” her, she was reading and writing before going to school.

I was a teacher’s pet in elementary school, a dream student. I would finish my work quickly and then help answer questions of fellow students that sat nearby. Later (I think around fifth grade) I would be given more responsibility and the chance to help whomever needed it in our classroom, along with a few other “quick learners”. I was lucky to grow up when I did and teasing and bullying were a rare thing, usually only happening on the playground due to lack of sportsmanship. It wasn’t until I entered high school that I learned to keep my mouth shut and only answer questions when asked directly.

Being a member of math club I was able to get preferential treatment during algebra. I would finish assignments ahead of time and work on other homework, help others, or spend free time reading, etc. A classmate made a remark about the unfairness of the two groups in our math class, something along the lines of the smart group and dumb group. I remember that I never really saw a distinction in our class before until it was pointed out to me. It upset me greatly and since that moment I tried to blend in and not get grouped into a distinct clique. That was one of the first signs that my desired profession could waiver.

Another sign was due to a history teacher and his treatment of the females in his classroom. This teacher did not even try to hide his discrimination. I began to learn that teachers were not always heroes but human too. I finally made the decision to look for a new calling after student teaching in high school. I was able to work with a teacher that my sister praised, one of her favorites from elementary school. It was a tough classroom, walking into an environment where the adult in charge is OCD about most things and doesn’t relinquish control without a fight. I did not enjoy that experience at all because I was basically a gofer and errands were my specialty. The teacher even wrote in my evaluation that I would not make a good teacher. I was crushed.

Jump to after college and a few years of jobs not careers taking over my life when I get the opportunity to teach. I had long ago given up that dream but it was the chance to travel abroad and why not? My best friend is an international teacher and she was able to snag me a job at her school in South America. I was terrified not because I didn’t know the language but what if I failed. What if I didn’t know how to teach? I was thrown to the wolves and became a fourth grade teacher with no idea of what it would entail.

Looking back at my year in South America I am grateful. That experience showed me that I could survive and that teaching is something I enjoy. I had a lot of fun with my students and I also struggled during the school year but overall I think it changed me.

I am still debating on what to do with my life, still working jobs and not toward a career. I want to go to work each day loving what I do and I don’t think I have found that yet. It is such a tough decision to pick an interest and follow it through. I sometimes wish my dreams were more tangible. This feeling of being clueless is terrible, I sometimes wake up and don’t even think I know myself. Right now I’m working on discovering my self as cliche as that sounds. I hope that one day soon I will have that spark again like I did when I was teaching my sister to read and write. Until then I’ll keep on keeping on, living each day with my goals in mind.

what were your childhood aspirations?

Childhood Dreams

Throwback, Summer Lovin’

Hold_Nothing_Back_by_teafunnyHalfway through spring which means summer will soon be here. Summer is my least favorite season; I am not sure why I dislike it so much. The only good thing about summer is going swimming and visiting the state fair–a yearly tradition.

My first concert was a state fair concert, some country music artist (I lived in Missouri after all). Most of the time I would check out the fair two or three times during the two weeks of the celebration. There wasn’t that much to see but it was something to do.Sugar__Sugar_by_teafunny

The other part of the fair that you always looked forward to was the food. The corn dogs made your mouth water. Sugar highs were common due to the funnel cakes and cotton candy. It was a good time to indulge.

I haven’t been to the fair in awhile. I hope to remedy that by visiting home during the summer when the fair is in full swing.

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The petting zoo, one of my favorite stops.
What is your favorite summer activity?
Throwback, Summer Lovin’

Blast From the Past

California, home sweet home. Sadly I have lived more years away than there during my childhood. No matter how long I am gone it will always be home. The scenery is calming, the coast is beautiful, and the experiences you have there are worth telling. I spent nearly two days in southern California last summer which reignited my love for my home state. I hope to return again soon.


What blast from the past have you encountered recently?

Blast From the Past

Top Ten Tuesday, Childhood Rereads

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The top ten list is brought to you by The Broke and the Bookish where each week the theme/topic changes. This week I will discuss:

Top 10 Books From My Childhood That I Would Love To Revisit

Where the Sidewalk Ends: The Poems and Drawings of Shel SilversteinThe Velveteen RabbitThe Secret GardenJames and the Giant PeachA Wrinkle in Time (A Wrinkle in Time Quintet, #1)

  1. Where the Sidewalk Ends
  2. The Velveteen Rabbit
  3. The Secret Garden
  4. James and the Giant Peach
  5. A Wrinkle in Time
  6. The Castle in the Attic
  7. The Chronicles of Narnia
  8. Number the Stars
  9. Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing
  10. Sarah, Plain and Tall

The Castle in the Attic (The Castle in the Attic, #1)The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (Chronicles of Narnia, #1)Number the StarsTales of a Fourth Grade Nothing (Fudge, #1)Sarah, Plain and Tall

There are many books from my childhood that I would revisit. These are only a few that stand out. I have slowly started adding more books from my past into my current reading rotation. The most recent I read was Black Beauty.

Which book from your childhood would you read again?
Top Ten Tuesday, Childhood Rereads

Grab a Spoon

Cereal is one of my favorite meals, even though I never realized it until this moment. I grew up eating cereal almost every day, sometimes twice a day. This habit began back when I was an infant, just snacking on some Cheerios. You could call me a serial cereal eater. When I come home from work I like to enjoy a big bowl of my pick of the week. During my bowl of goodness, I am reminded of good memories from childhood and suddenly transported back to simpler times. This week I have been partaking in Froot Loops, because bright colors are fun so why not. As I stood in the cereal aisle at my local grocery store I found the options endless. Whole grain this and toasted that, my choice was ultimately a childhood favorite packed full of sugary tastiness. Last week I had a “grownup” cereal so I thought I would splurge this week and go for the visually appealing one. Picking my weekly choice is always a chore because of all the options, but it also gives me a chance to try new brands and combinations during my daily intake of cereal. As I finish off my cereal, I think about all those other times I decided to give in to my laziness to cook and just enjoy a quick, easy bowl. I wonder if it is actual laziness or just comfort in an old habit. Cooking for one is a hassle, so cereal quickly fixes that problem. Life gives you simple pleasures and eating cereal is one of mine. Whether it is the late night snack while watching a movie or during the quiet morning reading the paper with coffee, cereal is always the best part of my day.

Grab a Spoon